Star Fails III -- Payday in the Frozen City

The Crew
Jason Slade, big damn hero
Gold-Gold-Mauve, gun-amoeba
Squishy, nee-"Greenie," eukaryote bullet-sponge
Grug-Ugh-ng, turret puncher
Private Kipley, man of action
Skrillix, squid misanthrope

by Steve Burg

Deep beneath the ice of Iota Cancri VIIIc lies a nameless, dead city. The crew crouched in the dark, a third of them blissed out on alien chemicals. Grug-Ugh-ng took the lead once again, and decided they would wait out the effects on their compatriots. After a few hours nervously watching the dark tunnels Jason and Kipley shook off the effects and the crew set off again. The ancient complex was eerily silent and heavily damaged, collapsed tunnels stymied their progress. The team might have given up were it not for the heroic leadership of the captain ordering Kipley to dig his way through. Progress went much faster from there, and the party was able to ambush a pair of harmless spacecats before being ambushed themselves by rogue defense turrets at the bottom of a stairwell. The automated defenses nearly killed Squishy, but the crew was able to pull him out of range and patch him up with Science! They both exploded a few seconds later under a barrage of bear and laser fire. Those sentries proved to be the last active defenders of the ruins, with only unstable ceilings, ancient diseases, and poison gas standing between the crew and a cache of ancient artifacts. The crew made off with an ancient statuette, a hologram, a mysterious hollow cylinder, some drugs, platinum coins, and a parachute.

Kipley, by the inestimable +Ron Power 

Stellar Piracy

The Hulks & Horrors rules mention pirates as a relatively common occurrence while surveying systems, but outside of the "Sentient Crew" encounter at the top of every table leaves the specifics up to the DM to adjudicate. I say why adjudicate when you can roll on a sweet table during system generation! Append this to your system generation process and roll out the six-inch mass drivers. And dice.

Step 3a: Determine Pirates in System
Roll 1d4, on a 1 pirates have a large presence in the system.

Roll 1d6 for each orbit, on a 1 pirates have a base at this location. Terrestrial/Dwarf: 1-2 on surface, 3-4: on moon, 5-6: space station. Gas Giant: 1-2 cloud city, 3-4 on moon, 5-6 space station. Belt: 1-2 hollow asteroid, 3-4 space station, 5-6 repurposed hulk. Deep Space Station: inside station. Artificial World: 1-5 inside construct, 6 space station.

Check for pirate encounters each time a PC vessel moves to a new orbit. Roll 1d6, on a 1 pirates have detected your vessel. If this orbit contains a pirate base an encounters occurs on a 1 to 3. The lead vessel of the crew will hail the PCs, roll on the Pirate Reaction table to determine their attitude.

Pirate Reactions (1d6)
1-2: Attack, the pirates make dire threats and engage.
3-4: Extortion, the pirates demand 1d6x1000 credits to ensure safe passage, parties unable to pay will be attacked.
5: Neutral, the pirates are kind of bored and looking to chat.
6: Friendly, the pirates are willing to impart the PCs with some system data or an item if they have the cash.

Pirate Encounters
Roll 1d3 for the number of vessels in the encounter. Roll 1d5 for the Hull Class of each pirate vessel. The total value of each should be no more than (1d4 + Hull Class) x 100,000 credits. That number is entirely arbitrary and possibly terrible, I ain't got time to stat those ships for you.

Star Fails II

I had two new players for this session of my Hulks & Horrors campaign for a total of three new characters after the rout last time. After getting the new players up to speed (and troubleshooting the mic on our Hangout bro) we picked up where we had left off, in system Iota Cancri mourning the loss of captain Keith Slade.

The Crew
Keith Slade, heroic captain (eaten by spiders)
Grug-Ugh-ng, bearman first mate
Private Kipley, space marine
Skrillix, floating squid reprobate
Newcomers
Jason Slade, acting captain
Gold-Gold-Mauve, gun-amoeba
"Greenie,"

by Axelinde

Unwilling to tarnish their leader's reputation by failing the mission Grug-Ugh-Ng took command, setting a course for the gas giant deeper in-system. Dozens of moons orbited it, but only a few held anything of value. The Daedalus detected up a Galactic Surveyor emergency beacon from a forest moon. Breaking orbit in their shuttle the group came across the wreck of a crashed ship. A trio of occupied emergency cryo-pods were found within the torn fuselage, functioning on a trickle of remaining battery power. Within the pods lay a human and two omega reticulans. After revival they introduced themselves as Jason Slade, time-traveling brother of the ex-captain on a rescue mission to save Keith (arriving too late!) Gold-Gold-Mauve ("GolGol"), and "Greenie." The crew was also able to scavenge survey data from the crashed ship's computer. That left only a two planetoids for study, a stone planet of blood-red rivers (which the group deemed "too metal") or an ice world. They set course for the winter wonderland, and once in orbit discovered that ancient cities covered the small moon, buried beneath almost unbroken glaciers.

Landing their shuttle on a ridge above a large crevasse, the crew clambered into a tunnel leading into the frozen city. The architecture was unfamiliar, reminiscent of ceramic with a tendency toward organic curves and peaked ceilings. The tunnels were full of jellyfish-like creatures, which seemed harmless enough until Jason caught a face-full of soporific powder released from creatures, rendering him helpless but very happy. In retaliation the crew reduced the creatures to bubbling heaps on the floor. The team tied him to the shoulders of Kipley cyberpod heavy armor, where he'd be least likely to harm himself or anyone else. Things went downhill from there. Every room seemed to include more of the floaters, and they soon lost Kipley to the creatures' mind-effecting compound as well.

Will the crew fight something other than pitiful 1HD jellyfish monsters?

Will they find anything worth looting??

Will the time travel thread ever be revisited???

Who is the man in black????

Jacking In

Hulks and Horrors is a scifi retroclone combining the human-scale ruleset of D&D with a stripped down Traveller stellar model. It comes equipped with some amazing tables for generating adventuring locations, from the macro game of sector exploration to the smallest underground bunker or space station. You can be a bearman or a floating squid and pilot a Winnebago bristling with nuclear missiles. It is the best, and I've just started running it! H&H paints its universe with a broad brush, so when I see at the bottom of Complex room table an entry for "VR Access Node" and nothing more it demands I make a table for what terrible misfortune befalls whoever jacks in!

Accessing VR Nodes

The Ancients left behind technological wonders of infinite variety, some of the more common pieces of tech are virtual reality systems. These sophisticated systems were used for education, simulation, entertainment, even basic maintenance of the facilities they were part of.

Node Technology (1d6) 

1. Headset and Gloves
2. Holographic Interface
3. Cranial Jacks (1 damage/use)
4. Psychic Mechanism
5. Cybernetic Cocoon
6. Memetics

Figuring out the Ancient technology and successfully accessing a node requires a INT check.

VR Effects (1D12)

1. All doors on this floor unlock.
2. All doors on this floor open.
3. All doors on this floor lock.
4. Knowledge floods your brain. +2 to all checks to use technology in this complex.
5. Alarm sounds, attracting nearby monsters. They arrive in 1d3 turns.
6. Location of the nearest loot.
7. Psychedelic mimetics fry your psyche for 1d6 damage.
8. Simulation of infinite space populated by Precursor ghosts.
9. Defense protocol summons 1d4+1 Servicebots to repel intruders. They arrive in 1d4 turns.
10. A map of this level is downloaded into your brain.
11. The defense system activates. Roll a hazard for this room.
12. The node temporarily overwrites your language centers, you speak only a forgotten Precursor dialect for 1d6 hours.

Tomb of the Rocket Men!

Gusty over at Dungeon of Signs has been running a contest for a map of the Tomb of the Rocket Men. This is my take on it! If I ever run the thing myself I will absolutely jam pack that pristine rocket with cosmic horrors.

Prismatic Wings

I desperately want a better word for butterfly than butterfly to use in this post. Butterfly is like the limpest name for a critter that, at least in my campaign, is big and scary and cast spells willy-nilly. Lepidopterans sounds too formal, and using foreign words just seems cheap. However, the Russian babochka is far and away the coolest sounding word for them I could find.


The wizards of Ig don't wear pointy hats. Wizards wear robes and capes and turbans and queer haberdashery of iridescent moth-wing  This is because butterflies and moths are natural spell casters not out of any knowledge of their own, but due to the markings on their wings. The pattern of colorful scales on their wings form mandalas, sigils, and the true names of all things. A solitary normal butterfly or moth is harmless, but a sufficiently large swarm (rabble) resonates magically, so many wings brushing together builds up an esoteric charge that can be released at any shock to the group. The spells released scale in proportion to the amount of number of individuals in the rabble. A wizard wearing specially fashioned robes, cloaks, or masks will find his mystical abilities heightened by the wings.

Moth-wing Gear
Any gear crafted from butterflies or moths is lumped together in the catch-all of "moth-wing." This type of clothing can only be crafted by a wizard, and at no small cost. However, a wizard wearing a full suit gains a +3 to resist offensive spells and +3 to all spell checks as well as providing several mystical abilities. Moth-wing provides no bonus to AC.
Moth-wing Hat: Often taking the form of a turban bedecked in scintillating wings or simply the decapitated head of a giant moth hollowed out and made into a cap. A moth-wing hat provides a +1 bonus to all spell checks and saves. The wearer can also be used to cast Speak with Insects 2/day Cost: 400gp and 5 HD in butterflies/moths
Moth-wing Cloak: Usually made from giant wings sewn in a fashionably gaudy cape. A moth-wing hat provides a +1 bonus to all spell checks and saves. The wearer can also cast Color spray 1/day. Cost: 600 gp and 10 HD in butterflies/moths
Moth-wing Robes: A moth-wing hat provides a +1 bonus to all spell checks and saves. The wearer can also cast Featherfall 2/day. Cost: 900 gp and 15 HD in butterflies/moths




Butterfly Rabble: Init +4; Atk none (but see SP); AC 9; HD 1d8+; MV fly 40'; Act special; SP random spells, half damage from non-area attacks; SV Fort +0, Ref +6, Will +0; AL C.

For DCC the rabble can cast a random spell of a level up to the number of HD they have. It casts this spell with a spell check bonus equal to half its current HP. For mores standardized systems, consider it to have spell slots equal to a magic user of equal HD, with the spell taking up as many slots as possible.

Carapace Crafting

Spurred to action by Anarchycore and challenged by the inestimable Ian Johnson for what you see below. I present two systems for crafting weapons and armor from giant insects!

The Boring Way
Kill a number of HD of bugs of the appropriate armor class, spend some gold on other necessary materials like straps and hooks, and spend days equal to the AC bonus crafting and BOOM armor. This is boring. Don’t use it.

Armor Type	Type of Insect	Cost (gp)	HD required
Leather	AC10+	10	3
Studded Leather	AC11+	23	4
Hide	AC12+	15	5
Scale Mail	AC13+	40	6
Chainmail	AC14+	75	7
Banded Mail	AC15+	125	8
Half-Plate	AC16+	225	9
Full-Plate	AC17+	600	10
Shield	AC12+	5	2

The Epic Risky Way
Each slain giant insect can be carved down to its raw material (chitin) for crafting. Each carcass breaks down into chitin plates equal to its HD-1d6 (the Beat to Death by Ruffians Tax). A certain amount of chitin is required for each type of item, but extra plates may be included in the attempt. Each extra plate increases the chance of success by 5%. All materials are consumed whether the attempt is successful or not.

Armor Type	% to Craft	Materials required
Leather	40	4
Studded Leather	35	5
Hide	30	6
Scale Mail	25	7
Chainmail	20	8
Banded Mail	15	9
Half-Plate	10	12
Full-Plate	5	15
Shield	50	2

Weapon Type	% to Craft	Materials required
Battleaxe	20	5
Blackjack	85	2
Blowgun	85	2
Club	80	3
Dagger	70	2
Flail	60	3
Handaxe	60	2
Javelin	50	3
Lance	40	4
Longbow	40	5
Longsword	50	5
Mace	75	3
Polearm	20	4
Shortbow	50	5
Short sword	70	3
Spear	45	3
Staff	70	2
Two-handed sword	20	5
Warhammer	45	5
Dart	80	1 (per 6)
Arrow	75	1 (per 4)

Edge-cases of Supreme Insight
If the crafter rolls 99~100 some quirk of the crafting process or the material has created an item of incredible quality. Weapons counts as +1 to hit and damage. Armor counts as one rank better.